The Amateurs

Title: The Amateurs
Author: Liz Harmer
Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf
ISBN: 9780345811240

Alethea’s Review (at age 18)

“People had always been stupid and full of hope, thought Marie. Despite their cynicism, everyone believed in magic.”

The ports have taken everyone away. The city’s last 42 people gather in an Anglican church. Marie. Rosa. Steve. Mo. They have nothing in common except the fact that they are here. They have resisted the ports’ siren call — “We will take you to wherever and whenever you desire.” And now they sit in the pews, eating a magenta-coloured stew that tastes of hot sauce. Marie waits for the day her ex-husband will come back to her. She waits, although no one has ever come back.

South of the border — or what would have been a border before six billion people left — Brandon sits in a meeting at PINA headquarters. He has been PINA’s marketing head since before its CEO, Albrecht Doors, harnessed the ports. Now there are only a thousand of them left at headquarters. The city is deserted. And he listens to Doors, wondering how to market to a population that has disappeared.

The Amateurs sounds like it should be a thrilling sci-fi saga of those the apocalypse left behind. Instead, it is a slow-moving story about the pull of desire. There are many pages where nothing happens. There are ample discussions about philosophy. There is slow, sad, useless yearning.

It’s poetic, I suppose, in that it is pretentious, unnecessarily padded and full of pretty quotes that don’t really mean anything.

And yet.

There is something real about The Amateurs.

Hidden underneath its veneer of unconvincing philosophy and ideas that go nowhere, there is something that clicks. And I can’t tell you what it is. Maybe it’s the idea of unbridled desire that decimates a willing population. Maybe it’s the conflict between destruction and growth, the baseball bat with which Rosa smashes windows. Maybe it’s the way Brandon falls in love with even the slightest hint of possibility.

Whatever it is, it forced me to finish the book. The ending is predictable and the philosophical epilogue is trite. But it stays with you.

I don’t have an explanation for the way I feel about The Amateurs. The characters are boring, despite (because of?) Liz Harmer’s attempt to make them deep and philosophical. The story is slow and confusing, skipping at random from past to present to future. None of the themes or philosophy are in any way original. It is an excruciatingly mediocre book.

But I enjoyed it. Sue me.

Buried deep underneath the layers of philosophy is something essential. It hints at the ache of desire that keeps us up at night. It touches on hope and despair and everything in between. Liz Harmer, you got something right. And I don’t have a clue what it is.

When I figure out why I liked this book, I will let you know. Until then, you might just have to read it yourself.

Warning: Drugs (marijuana), alcohol abuse, sex, the possibility of rape, divorce, miscarriages, mental illness, swearing, death, war, the apocalypse.

Mice Twice

Title: Mice Twice
Author: Joseph Low
Publisher: Aladdin Paperbacks
ISBN: 9780689878329

Nathalie’s Review (at age 8)

One day Cat invites Mouse for tea, but actually he wants to eat her.  Mouse says she will go and will bring a friend.  So Cat thinks, “Mice Twice.”  But Mouse brings Dog so Cat can’t eat Mouse.  And the next day, Cat brings Wolf to Dog’s house, hoping to eat both Dog and Mouse but beside Dog was Crocodile.

While I was reading this book for the first time, I thought, “Poor Mouse.”  But then when I figured out that Cat didn’t have a chance to eat Mouse, then I was happy again.  🙂  I found the book both funny and a bit scary because I thought that some animals would be eaten up.  But when I first saw this book, I didn’t see Mouse in the tree, so I thought it had to be a boy mouse, but it turned out to be a girl.  I found the end very funny.

Mummy Angie’s Review

A cute little book about Mouse outwitting Cat, and an easy introduction to the math concept of doubling.  Cat thinks he is going to have both Mouse and her friend for tea, so MICE TWICE.  But then Dog appears and he is TWICE as big as Cat.  In retaliation, Cat brings Wolf to Dog’s house, and Wolf is TWICE as big as Dog but FOUR TIMES as fierce.  Also references to time.  The animals agree to meet at 6 o’clock, 7 o’clock and 8 o’clock.

A Handful of Time

Title: A Handful of Time
Author: Kit Pearson
Publisher: Puffin Canada
ISBN: 9780143056386

Alethea’s Review (at age 12)

Kit Pearson writes fantastic books. This one follows Patricia Potter during the summer after her parents’ divorce. At her uncle and aunt’s house, the adults pity her and the kids tease her. Yearning to get away from it all, Patricia spends her days in the small cabin behind the house. But everything changes when she finds an old watch underneath a floorboard—a watch that can take her back to the summer her own mother was twelve.

This is not exactly an adventure novel. It’s more of a coming-of-age novel. Patricia has to try to understand herself and her feelings—as well as the aloof, professional woman she calls mother.

Recommended for kids, especially girls, from 10 up.

Warning: Angst. Period.